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Teddybear's Journal

My own journey of discovering who I am and expressing that in this world.

Making a comeback

Posted by on in Personal journey
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Since I got blue belt (august 2013), I been really messy for awhile, but since winter (december 2013) I been trying to get back up on my feet. Something changed today though I can feel it. I also have a clearer idea of what I really want now that I have better understanding of myself and what I been doing.

First off, since I been fussy about it a lot and lots of drama about it. I learned that I been reacting to big strong sexuality energy, so there's a big strong piece that came up, which kept freaking out pieces inside. But, I learned it's just simply a response and that's it. I also learn that sexuality, no matter how I do it or express it is a big normal part of being human. So I've actually been learning about becoming human a looot. And that taking Ro's advice, I should give myself a break, and recognize that there's a lot of garbage I picked up on and was taught while growing up. Plus, I keep picking up on people a lot lately, as Ro been consistently reminding me that just because I'm shaper doesn't mean I'm a solid rock, so I been picking up on other ppl's sexuality gutmuck and mess and ideas on it. It did seem strange that I now suddenly blow up more about it, so there's a new thing and there's that picking up on people and my own mess put together. So yes, I am now officially treating it as simple as possible and giving myself a break and try to enjoy the process. I even randomly opened up the Hafiz book to the poem, Becoming Human. Plus the Heart's Coronation was also a great fit.

Also, doing more a3f the past few days! I have a clearer idea of what I want. I really want to work on making the Elfpath process less messy for people. I want to make it more clean and easy going, so people can overcome their mess easier. Yes there could still definitely be challenges, but that's my goal. Making this ride more fun and easier to do. :) I also really want to work on communicating what I notice better while being big and strong while I do it. I also want to really practice on making my own decisions.

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Guest Wednesday, 22 November 2017