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This isn't a new thing, it's just parts of me is finally *getting it* like it's clicking and i'm going "oh duh THAT" I'm having one of those super cool rare awesome moments where I actually believe I'm awesome, life's awesome, everything's awesome. I really want to keep this up, keep choosing this. Every single movement I do, every single song I sing, every single DOING, and every single shaping... I choose awesome. I choose yay. I really don't have to compete either, I don't have to worry about the need to control, and I definitely don't have to go back to drama. I don't have to whine. I don't have to be small. I can just simply choose happy. I really can. I can simply choose it in everything that I do.

I'm also getting familiar with my path's yay buttons. The a3f yay buttons. So far I recognize giving and helping and heart. (which look! it automatically bolded itself! ) Those are some things that I love even more than FISH (omg I have YAYS even bigger than FISH... I know.. wow) which is my kiddy yay, these are my big me's yays. :)

Posted by on in Insights

I understand much better and more fully now why exercising is very important for the meta. It's because it helps us grow, and it helps us do, shape, sense, source much better and allows us to access more energy to do things, so we can do more in general, not just in the shaper sense, but in everything.

Since Ro talked to me about why exercising is important, I been taking it more seriously now for the past 2-3 weeks. I don't remember if this is my week 2 or 3, but anyways I started out doing lots of stairs 1000+ stairs everyday plus some 20min of cycling for the first half of that week, then kept adding 100 or so stairs everyday, then got to 2000 stairs everyday then my record of stairs is 2400 stairs, then I thought to myself that I would try running now, so the past few days I been running for more than 10min straight through without stopping and adding a minute or two everyday to that. So today I been able to do 15min of running without stopping or slowing down too much (not sure i slowed down when i got a drink of water, I just kept going).

Today I was thinking to myself, maybe I shouldn't do any exercising today since I am also on my monthly cycle and all, but then I thought to myself... "but wait!! i want to DO MORE SHAPINGS! Why would I do that? that silly" So I did 15min of running today :)

While I do exercising I been using my a3f and a3m on myself encouraging my self and loving myself and saying good job and you can do it! over and over again until I complete my task and then I go YAY you wonderful!

I'm also proud of myself that my laundry is now mostly sweaty clothings :D :D :D

So my goal is to run 20min by the end of the week straight through without stopping or slowing down! Today when I was running for the last minute I sped up much more for a whole minute :D Is really cool. So now applying what Ro told me and after doing it myself for awhile, I understand why it's important to do exercising. 

 

Social entrepeneurship

What map am I using?
Society's, parent's and advisor's

Benefits of not having a map. 
Make your own.

Andy travelled the world without a map. Society awards people who draws their own maps. Not people who follow them.

Industrial age: Being a dutiful cog in a machine was rewarded.

New era post 2008: those we can create a map gets rewarded.

The age of creativity.
 
Our entire world is becoming networked.
 

7 lessons 

 

1. All great leaders went on journeys. Explore and reflect often. 
2.  You have to figure out how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. 
3. Security is a superstition. So comfy in the united states. You are only lost if you think you are lost. 
4. Some failure should be assumed. You better understand who you are helping. Kids were happier playing with fish in a fish tank than climbing mountain. 
5. The hardest part is leaving. 
6. The only thing that lasts are the people that you meet along the way. 
7. Goal is to find your own way. You are pressured to follow people's maps. If we are each drawing our own map then it can't be a  race. Life is a journey for you. Thing he is most proud of is that he wakes up everyday and can decide what he wants to do for the day. Treat life like a journey. 

 

What map are you using?  
Life is a journey.

 

What is a journey? 

 

http://facebook.com/andystollspeaks 

 

 

 

Posted by on in Insights

                                                       Learning an Attitude of Service

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Learning an Attitude of Service: 

  • Different from 'just doing'. Or doing 'because I have to'. The energy of these: Disgust, resentment, bored, frustrated, critical. Negative and from shadow.
  • Doing 'for' others, for the sake of someone else. To help. To aid. To assist. The energy of these: Joy, excited, much more light and flowy and selfless. Doing to help make someone elses life easier.

One Exercise:

Whenever you feel like you want attention, like you want someone to give you something, like you want to take from others, stop. Look around. Look for anything that you can do to help others instead. Look for ways you can give to others, instead of taking. If you can't find anything, ask. Offer service on purpose. 

Posted by on in Insights

There are lots of blogs, websites, and informational pages out there about "Managing your emotions". Many even go into detail about how to "control" emotions, and why that's important. So I'll give an attempt at giving a new perspective.

Since Elfpath, with personal experience, I've learned just the opposite is necessary. After years of bottling up inside and "coping" with emotions, controlling them [and building anger as a result of ignoring emotions ], getting in touch with them in the beginning can seem a lot like opening up a flood gate. First a little bit, then a lot, then the intensity lessens a bit as the system gets used to the changes. 

So what about the question?

A common question people ask, and many still do here at Elfpath is "How are you?" And usually, this question is aimed at whatever emotions a person might be feeling at the time. "Oh I'm okay/ I'm feeling sad/ Bored", etcetera. Sometimes, the person who is asked might start talking about the things they're "doing" or have done that day.  To me this feels a lot like identifying the Self by the emotions and doings of a person more than who that person IS.

Inadvertently this pattern says things like "I am [my job/hobby/to-do list]".

                                                           "I am [that feeling]"

And the last few months I stumbled over this question. Enough had changed in my perception of myself being different from the things I did in a day or felt at the time that for a while I didn't know how to answer. 

What does that mean?

The more I define myself as Me, who I am, and what I'm here for - the less I feel the need to define myself by the emotions and hobbies. 

  • There is a pattern in this process. At the beginning, most students say things like "I am sad/angry/scared", and then go on to give a well-thought out explanation. The trouble with this is that in saying things like this, a person is labeling themselves. It's like putting all of you and your body and everything that matters to you in a tiny little box and saying "this is me". This gives that emotion, however small, control over a persons identity. It takes away their personal power. 

 

  • As a student goes further along they might start saying things like "I have a sad/angry/scared/disgusted", and then actually try to SCAN out the emotion or if it's theirs or something they picked up on, and why. While this next step fits much better with an individuals process - and as they begin discovering more about who they ARE [as opposed to what they do and what they feel] - it still offers a pitfall. It adds ownership to an emotion inside the system. And in the case of energy-work, an emotion that might not even be theirs. And what do people do with things they 'have'? They tend to want to keep those things. There is also a risk of taking the emotions personally. However, this is the beginning of identifying the Self as different from the emotions inside, and gaining a deeper awareness of who a person is.

 

  • Later on in the process, however, a student might begin saying things like "There is a sad/tired/nervous", and then handle the emotion appropriately. Questions like "Is it mine?" "Why is it there?/What is this a response to?" matter a lot more. This makes the divide between who a person IS and what emotions they might have hanging around the system even wider. Who someone IS at their core [their Ka Ton] is not defined by the emotions inside of their system [theirs or otherwise]. They are different. So from that sense of personal power, a person can then handle the emotion much more easily. The emotion, in itself, has no power to define the person anymore. 

So what about managing them?

Here, students learn in Basic that anger is fear. When there is an anger, there is always a fear or insecurity sitting underneath it. Anger, however, as it builds becomes a poison to the system. It burns the senses, and can be physically painful. So if anger is there, just ground it. It's not the anger but the fear underneath it that matters. 

From the perspective of "There is [an emotion]", for students in Elfpath they can step into power on purpose. Sit in the guts. 

From there, emotions are just an energy that is affecting the system [theirs or someone elses]. As an energy, it can be shaped/sourced, released on purpose, and replaced with something healthier. This works in the case of a fear beneath an anger.

And this doesn't happen by trying to bottle up the emotions, ignoring their existence, or even putting Anger on a pedestal and calling useful [even healthy]. This happens by putting down the barriers and walls inside, opening up on purpose, and deciding to get to know the emotions inside. 

While emotions do not define a person, they can give important information. Emotions can show a person the things that matter to them, what they like or don't like, what sort of person they WANT to be [and maybe wanted to be their entire lives]. They add a richness to the lives of people, allow for relationships and bonds to be made, and so on. 

Summary:

You don't "Manage" emotions like you manage a bank account [closed off until you need something]. This only lets the anger build inside. 

You live. And as you live, there are emotions. Like a testament that YOU exist and are living and care about things/people/places/ideas. 

Because there are emotions - your life is rich. And thus you live. 

It might help to look at each emotion as an experience. The ones stored inside from childhood are just experiences from long ago you get to actually experience now and let flow. The more you learn about them, the more you learn about yourself and what you came to do. And they do not ever define you. 

You ... Be You. 

 

Wordpress: http://stormofawesome.wordpress.com/2013/08/16/managing-emotions-how-are-you/

Posted by on in Insights

I'm thinking a lot of things right now, as I do sometimes. Been talking with a friend of mine and I'm just online to write here and then log off again.

There's this thing I have where I feel I don't have any interest at all in continuing my studies. Even if I like the idea of becoming a journalist (and at the same time, not really?). But I'm too stubborn to just drop it, and at the same time apparently lack the selfrespect to stop torturing myself. Time to be honest with myself. I'm not a studious kind of person. I live and learn through experiences, and the school system is not offering me that. I've been taking this Bachelor in Science of Journalism for a year now and frankly, I don't know a single damn thing about how it works, where it gets me and if I actually like what it is.

Studying for my resits this summer is not going well at all and deep down I've already stopped giving a damn. And yet here I am fussing about it. I was sitting here taking with a friend -- he's very creative and interesting and is always busy with a lot of things at the same time. And I was just sitting here thinking, "I feel boring without Journalism". Like I was making it my identity, and stopping it would make me less and leave an empty hole in my soul. I've been putting my studies on a pedestal and without it... No wonder I've been panicking.

I have a certain 'perfomance anxiety' under pressure.
I have a fear of the unknown/uncontrollable.
I have a desire to make an impact.
I'm at a point right now where I don't know anything, I feel like I can't control anything and where, without Journalism, I feel like I'll be nothing and have no impact or future whatsoever. Keeping up my studies will put me under so much pressure that it'll drive me completely nuts and still leaves me in the dark about my future.

Something I don't like and something that frustrates me is filling up my soul. Yeah, good luck with that.

It seems like a minor thought that I'm making something big of, dramatising it. But it feels so important. I'm frustrating myself over these studies and I felt like I could get somewhere with it. But even then. It seems to me that even a diploma in Journalism will not get me far compared to dropping out and gaining *experience* in the field, making use of contacts for work placements and try-outs. I COULD do that. But that doesn't get me any guarantees either.


I just want to let go of everything and recover my sanity, this madness has been brewing inside me for months now. And I really want to stop now and 'get' somewhere, because I feel like I'm stuck in a circle of unorganised chaos.

If you do something just because you're afraid of not doing it... Stop doing it.
Recover. Breathe. There's always options. But not like this.

Posted by on in Insights

Some things I've discovered.

 

1. When centering it can sometimes feel abit "la-di-da-whereismycenteri'mnotsure...", especially for people who are overweight, (or pregnant, or any other body type besides very slender and flat in front). I found that when I do the centering exercise Teddy taught me...imagining a ball of my energy, all that I am, and focusing on it, and then popping it in near my bellybutton, it works better for me if I put my hand behind my back, at the base of my spine and aim in from that side. Everyone's center is a consistant distance from their spine. I also find that now I'm able to form a fist and pop into my guts from behind with a specific sound. Remember, sound is important, it helps alot.

2. When sourcing: everyone sources, especially the Holy Child energy. Storm, Gimli and I have started playing Minecraft and I had the idea when reaching down into the earth to "look" for Holy Child energy to imagine it as blocks in the game, like a lapis lazuli block or something else bright and colourful, then it's something I can more easily visualize/imagine picking up, either with my feet to source, or with my hands if I'm shaping Holy Child into something, like my food.

Posted by on in Insights
“Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart, and that depends upon how much he has polished it. Whoever has polished it more sees more – more unseen forms become manifest to him.”-Rumi...
This quote seems to be everywhere for me today...I like that visual, polishing your heart. Its already beautiful and its not broken, its just dirty, clean and polish it and realize its a diamond, its indestructible! <3


-Casadei

7/25/13

Posted by on in Insights

I just realized and learned something so awesome about shapers.

Shapers have to change.

Shapers have to be willing to change.

Story:

Angel told a story about a girl that had two toys in each of her hands. Her Dad got her tasty icecream, but she wanted to keep both toys, but then she can't eat the icecream unless she lets go of one or both of the toys. So the Dad took a toy away from one of her hands. She cried. But, the Dad gave her the icecream. SHE HAD ROOM! She got to hold the icecream and ate it, because she let go of a thing. Now it's up to her, she can make a choice and go back to the old toy, or let go of both toys and explore other new toys or keep one toy and explore other new toys etc.

Lately, I been talking a lot about letting go, and I realized it's exactly like the story. I learned life loves me so much, and it wants to give me things. And I can make decisions on what I want to keep or let go. But if I keep a thing I may not get this other awesome thing. I learned while letting go of that anger and tension and big habits and other big things... I noticed even more things are starting to happen for me.

So my theory is that the more we decide to let go and be willing to change the easier shaping gets. And the more I can shape and DO and the more my channel for chi/power will be cleared and open. Something inside.... felt so happy and relieved that I felt like home maybe cried a little after I discovered this insight. I understand much better now. :)

Posted by on in Insights

First of all, it's totally okay if you want to take a break from Elfpath, or leave Elfpath. The most important thing is that it is *YOU* deciding it, and that YOU can decide it from the *GUTS* and are well grounded, centered, and breathing from it. It is not helpful to let your emotions control you, for instance running away because something is scary.


If anything above like that happens, there is another VERY important thing to know. That is the UPMOST importance:

IT'S OK!

Things happen and people get scared, and we understand. Just know that we'll be very happy and excited to have you come back and learn with us again. One pattern I noticed in A LOT of people when they leave Elfpath for awhile for whatever reason, they are scared to come back because we will hate them or they will get in trouble for leaving. This is false. Elfpath works from the Heart, people here LOVE.

This is one thing I found that I been teaching almost all the returnees :) That it is OK and we LOVE you and no one will get mad. In fact they will be EXCITED and YAY that you are BACK! And there will be lots of hugs and everything. So don't be scared to come back. If anything, we'll be Excited to have you back. I know I will be. ;) And from past experiences, the returning students have had wonderful and positive experiences for coming back to Elfpath.

Posted by on in Insights

I knew about Out of Power Shapers, but one thing I did not know about was that they can be blamey and want to go on Holy Crusades.

Anger, Blamey, Whinney, Small and Insecure, and want to go on Holy Crusades. (There's more to the Out of Power I think, but these seems to be the biggest things that shapers can't have at all)


While talking with Ro, she told me a bit about it. Been observing myself since, and I found that I am addicted to this Holy Crusade thing, and I feel like I have to find someone that is at fault for whatever reason. Also found that I am scared? to be the one at fault, or tired of feeling like I'm the one at fault. It's one of those "why me? what DID I DO wrong?!" And then hoping that other people are doing it wrong instead of me because I am the one always blamed for it. I already knew this I think, it just more clear now.

So, it might help me (and other shapers) to get used to the idea that no one is at fault not even me. And that I am doing my best, and that is ok to DO things. And letting go this Holy Crusade thing, no need to seek revenge on anything or anyone. And no need to always want to "control" things (tho I think that is more personal) Also to be ok with not knowing things, which is a big holy child trait.

So, I decide to let it go.

Posted by on in Insights

For as long as I can remember, Angel has prophetised that people in this world are going to become increasingly attracted to their own gender. So I've been watching for it the past few years. 

This is especially easy in spring and summer, when people are showing off their bodies and when nature in general is a little more inclined to reproduction. And it's especially easy as a Senser, because when people point their sexual interest, you feel it. Very clearly. 

Last year, I noticed when I'd walk around town, there were suddenly a lot of men who... didn't check me out. Even though I looked amazing and was wearing, well, let's say not very much of anything. That was weird. And when I'd scan people, far more than the majority of men clearly scanned like in the long run, they would be happier with a male partner than with a female. It was a step into the direction we've been expecting.

THIS year... when the first bits of sun came out yesterday, I wore a miniskirt and tight top and all such wonderful summery clothings. And I found of all the boys and men who saw me on campus... a whole of one checked me out. Out of habit. Glanced over, then looked confused like he wasn't sure what he was doing. All the rest of them? "Whatever". Not just with me, either, with all the girls. And they were openly checking out other men.

And what surprised me a little, was the women. While the man were happily doing their thing and totally uninterested in long legs or cleavage, I had several woman come up to me saying "Ohh, you look sexy!" and many others check me out. It was awesome to see. And for some of these women, there was such a strong attraction between them. 

These aren't strange people. It's not that I'm suddenly in a different country, or hanging out with a different crowed. For the most part, these are exactly the same people that I was watching and studying last year. And they're different now. They may not consciously know it yet, but they've changed.

Way to go, world! 

Posted by on in Insights

 

Sensing (for sensers)

I saw a post from Rohaa in the senser group that said:

 


Rohaa
I notice there are big differences between Sensers in what turns them on about sensing. Why do you want to be a Senser? What part of sensing especially makes you go YEAH!

 

 

Based on first-hand work with a lot of sensers, it appears that some things are consistent:

  • they have similar early childhood experiences
  • what turns them on (yay!) about sensing is consistent across sensers

  • what scares them (eep!) about sensing is consistent across sensers

  • what shuts them down re sensing is consistent across sensers

  • only the domain of sensing varies (the variance affects the outward things, so they think they are all different)

 

childhood!

Sensitive people go thru the same process in childhood whether they end up playing sensers, sources or shapers.

timid: They are more timid, cautious babies and young children who often seem to know what's going on around them, but are too young to understand it. Being more sensitive they are easily startled and don't often feel safe.

quiet and well-behaved: As they get older, they learn to be quiet and well-behaved. Why? They sense something that others don't and respond to it. They seem to see right thru people or know what's going to happen. Mundane parents and caregivers get scared or tense. The child senses the tense but doesn't get why it happens. Children, generally, learn to respond to the world by experiencing and interacting. When the reactions are consistent, they build a stable world view. With sensy little ones, they never get that experience of stability. They never ken what's ok and what's not. So they get quiet. Over the years they learn to speak and act very cautiously, waiting to sense what the other person wants. (Note: sensitive children who truly feel safe are the opposite. They are little terrors. Acting out in their lives all the crazy they are picking up. Those that don't feel safe just inhale and bury all that pain.)

likeable: With those they trust they are generally likeable, being able to give a person just what that person wants. They are almost never popular, tho. What lets them tune to one person and give them exactly what they want makes it impossible to be with several people at once.

 

eep!

lack of trust: People lie all the time. Nearly constantly. They lie to themselves, to one another, about their feelings, their thoughts, their dreams, their fears... If you are not a senser you might think this is pessimism. It's not. Any decent senser, even a child, can feel all the things that don't scan... When those that are supposed to love them the most lie to them constantly without any concern, they begin to doubt everyone. They develop trouble trusting.

overwhelmed: Small children have smaller lungs. They take small breaths. They have smaller stomachs. They take in small meals... But with emotions and energies, they don't get the option of taking in a small amount. When someone's angry, they feel the whole angry--and it's way too big to handle. Young sensers quickly get overwhelmed by life. With no one to explain it to them, they turn inward and become quiet and withdrawn. In some cases they will turn to small violence to let some of it out: vandalism, self-cutting, ...

burned: Their senses grow as they grow and the overwhelm continues. In time they simply don't get a chance to heal before the next overwhelm comes. They get burned out. Their senses start to get damaged and shut down. They can show all the signs of burn-out that an adult sufferer will show. Apathy, hopelessness, despair, even loss of will to live can happen. It tends to peak around age 9 in many cases, tho it continues thru-out life.

limin: A limin is a threshold of perception. A sound which is below the limin or hearing you won't hear. One above you will. Random noise at a party may be below your limin. If someone says your name across the room, however, that will be above. Things below your limin are called sub-liminal. One way young sensers protect themselves is by raising their limin. They sense a thing. They get hurt, either by the thing itself or by people's response to their knowing it. They shut down a little, withdraw, isolate... and not just from people. They isolate from their bodies and from their senses. In so doing, they raise the limin of their perceptions.

ow!: When the limin is high enough most of what they sense doesn't get thru. This usually happens by age 4. What does get thru? Only those things big enough to get over their wall. And what are the biggest emotions or energies in life? The painful ones. The ugly and brutal ones. The result is that all they sense, by the time they are conscious of sensing, is painful. So they isolate more. They do their best to raise their limins into a defensive fortress so that they don't have to feel anything. They never realize all the wonderful and amazing things they could be sensing because this wall is built too high and too early in life.

 

yay!

color v b&w: Their is yay! in sensing however. So much that a non-senser will never believe it. When you begin to truly sense the richness and depth of life, it's a bit like sitting in a surround-sound 3-D IMAX theatre taking it all in... Most people are looking at life on a tiny, grainy, B&W tv with sound so weak and tinny they can barely hear it.

people: Sensers hear/feel/see what people are really saying, who they are, what's inside. They can sense a person's dreams and hopes and passions even when that person cannot. So a simple "hello" from someone conveys a whole array of information. Every conversation has substance and power. Every interaction is deep an meaningful. You can't *not* love the people around you when you begin to sense their back-stories, their hopes, their deep desire to live and experience. Everyone is beautiful.

wow!: Color's are brighter, foods richer, experiences stronger and more amazing. The smell of a flower, sun on your face, amazing sex, a great meal, the sound of the ocean, dancing, ... A senser's life is so much more that you have to experience it to believe it. (Author's note: I have trouble believing anyone would choose another path.)

truth: A good senser can always tell what's true. They are very hard to lie to. They sense the right choice in everything. They move in real harmony with their lives as they sense what's really there.

interaction: A good senser can sense exactly what to say, how to say it to, and when to say it... Imagine never again wondering how to act. They are prepared, always and for every situation.

 

shutdown!

Getting to "good senser" is not easy however. You have powerfull ingrained habits of withdrawal and raising your limin. It's a deeply-coded habit to pull away from dark or painful things. The result is that you near-instinctively pull back from any rich or complex experience. You shut down. And in that shutdown, your senses suffer, just as they did when you were a small child. Your walls grow. Your armor thickens.

That shutdown happens before conscious thought or decision. So growing into a good senser involves learning to recognize shutdown and withdrawal and intentionally re-immersing yourself. Working at this process actively, with a really good teacher, will take you about two years to get past most of your childhood coding. You will never get it all, but the difference between a mundane life and an astoundly-rich senser life makes it well worth playing the game.

(Author's note: A young senser raised by an aware adult will miss most of these troubles and be much better at sensing, tho still not quite all they could be. They are still being raised by those who had to overcome their own pain. The third generation however, the healthy young sensers raised by those who were given a healthy childhood of sensing... These will be amazing people.)

 

variance across domain!

The things above, based on a large database of information, are consistent across all sensers. There is some difference among sensers, however, and that difference is generally based in domain.

domain: Different people favor different gifts. A 2nd chakra senser will focus on sensing and responding to emotions. They'll be less visually aware. A 6th chakra senser will be all about seeing, colors, images, etc. A 5th chakra senser will hear voices & sounds and be extremely "logic" or idea focused. A hands senser will want to touch, feel or hug everything. A 4th chakra senser will be less logical and more inclined to fall in love with everyone they meet. The feeling senser may look at a musician and feel the emotion the musician feels when playing well. The vision-based senser may see sheet music or an instrument. The hearing senser will hear the music being played or hear the person talking about music. A hands senser will feel the texture and flow of the music with their hands. (note: There are several other types of senser.)

CoT: If your review the Circle of Truths, you'll notice a different way that sensers vary. Some sensers lean toward life-experience: people, food, sex, trees, animals, nature... The opposite extreme is idea-focused sensers. These folks prefer to keep life at a little more distance, study and analyze it, and seek patterns and ideas about it. Pure sensers fall in-between these two. Where a senser lives on this scale will affect their attitudes toward sensing.

These two big differences, domain and CoT-focus, will affect the way a senser communicates, what they perceive, how they understand and several other surface things. The result is a seemingly very different person. A good senser, however, doesn't pay attention to such surface gloss. They study "the substance under the thing." From this perspective, sensers are all surprisingly similar.

 

++ A

 

 

 

 

Posted by on in Insights

I found myself doing something unusual, but very fitting for an a3f. I thought it was unusual because the topic is sensitive, so I don't normally talk about it. A student came up to me asking how to approach another student because the other particular student trigger's strong feelings. I came across this with a couple of other students myself, so I explained that these are helpful students because it makes noticing feelings much easier, so you can get a lot done. And that from my personal experience, these type of people seems to have deep connections within and from potential life times as well. A bond of sorts. I also told them:

1. Practice communication.

2. Be as gentle as possible.

3. Be you. In other words, don't let young pieces take control of the communicating because it can get messy.

I been curious... if there's something to this especially if others are going through with it, and if I can help people sort it out, let them be aware of it ahead of time, so people won't hurt each other.

And then there was the 4th thing I noticed.

4. Celebrate together

It's strange to see people get critical of others celebrating, which is not what we teach, so I wanted to encourage others to celebrate together and play together. I found that from personal experience it gets easier when I join in the celebration rather than being critical at it.

Yay together. :)

Posted by on in Insights

Sat, 15/06/2013

Angel is right (and I kind of surprise myself saying that out loud). One big choice is nothing without daily devotion to the little steps that get you there. I think that’s been a major problem in all of my life. I always ‘did’, without knowing what for, why I did it. I lacked a big decision, a motivation. So those little things never mattered, as long as they kept me out of trouble.
It’s starting to make sense to me now. (Hint: While it seems obvious now, things like this feel rather alienated when you *need* them at a later point in time)


Whenever I did make a big decision, it never really became obvious to me in a way, that it wouldn’t magically ‘happen’. I’d soon give up or get bored. Right now, I’m on day three of my daily basics. That’s already one day longer than I’ve managed in the past! I’m not there by a looooong shot. I have little skill (and trouble being nice), bad habits and a real problem with motivating myself.

But the latter is starting to take form, and it looks like I can start working on that. These are two relatively new insights for me. First having something to do it for, which I wrote about in my previous post.
That first idea automatically brings on a second one that I’ve never really coped with in previous years. Okay, sure, I always told myself, decide a thousand times, but it never really made sense to me until now. The ‘big’ decision is the motivation for all the little ones along the way, and once you have that, you have the potential for those small steps to hold a LOT of power together.

On day three now, there’s frustration and blegh and ‘why am I doing this’ and ‘I don’t want to’. Now I’m starting to see how hollow all of that is. And how important a simple truth can be. Because, yes, I have a reason and yes, I do want this, because it helps me get what I want. Now it’s just a matter of sticking with it.
Every little decision, every single step I can take, will eventually feed one inner ‘wolf’ fighting for dominance. One light, one dark. For years, I’ve mostly been feeding the dark wolf, and it’s a lot stronger than the light one. That’s why things won’t change in one-two-three. But I can make the one-two-three choice to feed one wolf even a thousand times a day, and make the light one stronger as time goes by.


This is an universal truth. It works for everything. I can use this for school, I can use this for Elfpath exercises, career choices, projects, relationships. You name it. I didn’t have much sleep, had a rough night, have a resit and it’s raining cats and dogs. But I had caffeine, a walk through the park, some fun insights. I cuddled a tree. And today is gonna be okay.

I only wish I had discovered sooner :P But hey! I’m one week into Elfpath again and I’m already making potentially life-changing decisions. That’s what I came here to do, so woo me! So. Metaminutes. Lets do some, yes?

Posted by on in Insights

 

I just saw this post == No Flow? == and felt I should re-iterate something I've been telling you guys all along. Namely:

 

Big decisions don't change your life!

The small steps you take every day change your life. The big decisions just tell you which direction to walk in. If you make a big decision but don't do your daily steps, you never see change. If you do them, but then stop when you're "feeling better," the good stuff will fade away. You won't even notice it at first. Just one day you'll wake up and alll the best bits are gone...

 

Trible-D

When you make a decision and begin to move forward with it (i.e. doing SWEET, meta-minutes, GCB, ... every day), you notice change almost immediately. Within a few days your life starts to feel better and to just work better. Remember, tho, that this process comes with a timeline. Most people forget that timeline and only pay attention to what they're feeling. When you are making big changes, parts inside you get alternately excited, depressed, curious, bored and scared.

You can't trust those feelings.

You've made your decision, you started to make the daily steps, now you need to stick to that decision. I sometimes call it "Decision, Dailies, Dedication," the triple-D. The big decsion (D1) gives you direction. The dailies (D2) move you in that directioin. The dedication (D3) helps you to keep going when it's ... interesting.

 

Timeline

  • Day 0: Getting started
  •     You decide what you want and make a commitment to that decision. 
  •     You work with someone wiser to develop daily ToDo.s
  •     You write it down, sign it, and post it where you'll see it first thing every day
  •     and all the rest of it
  • Day 1-3: The rollercoaster
  •     At first a little messy, almost nothing feels different
  •     Then you hit some resistance and it gets awkward
  •     By day 3 or so, you are sometimes climbing the walls
  •     This is where people panic and run away
  • Day 4-10: Stabilizing
  •     Things start to settle down, but it's still a struggle with the small stuff
  • Day 30: Getting easier
  •      It's getting easier to be stable
  •     The dailies feel more natural now
  •     You're seeing many of the benefits
  • 3 Months: Bored
  •     By now a lot of the "new-car smell" is wearing off
  •     You get sloppy in your dailies
  •     At first you don't notice any change, but things start to fade
  •     Either you rededicate to your three D.s and maintain the "high"
  •       or it alll goes back to how it was when you started, or worse b/c you now know some of what you're missing
  • 6 Months: Natural
  •     If you've stuck with it this long, it all feels natural. Life's good
  •     Here's where most people quit. Not by conscious choice tho.
  •     They just think, "Hey, I'm all better!" and they give up their dailies.
  •     Again, either you rededicate to your three D.s and maintain the "high"
  •       or it alll goes back to how it was when you started, or worse b/c you now know some of what you're missing
  • 1 Year: Celebrate!
  •     By one year of sticking to a decision, it's become part of your routine, of your life
  •     You are unlikely to drift away now, but you can get sloppy
  •     If you've stuck with it this long, it's a big deal. Celebrate!
  •     Have a party. Tell those you know. Be happy.
  •     And rededicate to your three D.s
  • 2 Years: the finish line
  •     Something magical happens when you've worked every day for two years.
  •     What you've been working on integrates into you and becomes stable.
  •     Now you can relax... Or find something new to decide

 

If you want change in your life, triple-D it. Remember the time-line. Stick with it. And you'll get far more than you evey thought possible.

 

++ A

Posted by on in Insights

... -> o -> lol -> love -> evolve

 

...

  Where you start. Mostly blah. Half asleep in frog pajamas

 

o

  Surprise. There's a lot more out there. Oh & wow.

 

lol

  Fun! Some of what's out there is really cool. It's ok to laugh... and yay.

 

love

  The heart starts to wake up. This is what it's all about. Life begins here.

 

 

evolve

  Now, with the heart solidly online, you begin to discover what you're here to do and you begin to really grow into that.

 

 

 

So:

... -> o -> lol -> love -> evolve

 

 

Unless of course your Gimli or one of his bunch, then it's

... -> o -> lol -> lololo -> love -> evolve

 

++ A

Posted by on in Insights

Why?

I guess that's the ever-important question for everything you do. Sometimes the answer is more simple compared to others. There's many, many facets to this one though. One more outrageous than the other. 99% of them I'm not even aware of yet. Fact: I have serious issues with committing to anything and being aware of passion, which kind of explains that.

The beginning is a good place to start. I think I officially first started taking classes at Elfpath June, 2009. I wasn't a very self-conscious kid back then. Rather naive, mostly social over gaming sites rather than in reality. Hilarious kid yes, but I used to think it was all I had going for me. I'd already go lengths to help someone else though. I had met Ro and the original Elfpath teaching team on a roleplaying site I was on at the time -- I already knew them before they founded the organisation. When I saw a post about the new school.. Well, it seemed exciting at the time. I had nothing better to do, and nothing to lose.

me at 17 years -- note the hunched bodylanguage

Time went by, and soon I would spend hours chatting with new members and forging strong bonds with other people. I found myself a place I felt at home - more than anywhere else. More than at the house, or at school. And I had close friends, but still I was more drawn to Elfpath. And I saw it pay off. 
Slowly I grew up to be a more confident and outspoken guy, not afraid to stand up for his beliefs and eager to help anyone. With a more positive outlook on life. I like to think I just need time to grow into that. I might as well have grown the same way should I never have met these people. But with these classes, I was encouraged to grow, rather than fed certain ways to act and think, in an environment where I felt safe and welcome. And I got the chance to provide that to others as well! (mileage varried)
I managed to get that lovely green belt and put my heart on-line and working. God that felt ridiculously.. harmonic.

Top of my game

Things seemed to hold me back though. I had intense experiences, real changes, held responsibilities and still had a genuine interest in the metaphysical. At the same time I remained sceptic, and couldn't really put my heart into it. For myself, at least. I could spend hours a day counselling somebody else or working them through some emotional mess. Though I wouldn't regularly practice, I kept disregarding the basics, and really all I kept returning for was the sense of connection.
I think I grew afraid of the possible consequences if I were to go on with Elfpath more seriously -- my family never really accepted it. And slowly but surely, I started to let go of everything I had learned. I still participated, I even changed from the sensing clan to the source clan once we knew more about what it was. I did a few workshops. But mentally I'd distance, and eventually I just dropped out of it entirely, cutting off contact with most classmates as well.

At first I felt liberated. You know, no responsibilities, no worries, just school was all I had to worry about. I kept growing as a person, my new school was great and very social-minded. I got to build up a new group of friends outside of school. I came out as gay and played around with a few relationships. Travelled parts of the world, and had some great experiences that taught me, Elfpath was indeed not the 'one' way. Even though I had always been grateful for having been part of it.

 

I always had this feeling though. The longer, the more subtle differences I noticed. No more 'hunches' that would magically work out, a drop in empathy, life became a bit more dull. And perhaps the biggest difference, I really miss that heart energy. I had retried a few times, pick thing up again, even if just a little. But it never worked. No drive, perhaps, I don't even really know. Most of the time, life went just great and I had everything under control. But I'd cave in sometimes under pressure, get insecure, afraid, drop dead.
So I -can- use Elfpath. The community isn't enough to keep me around -- peer pressure never worked well for me. But I just want to have more, and strengthen what I already have. I no longer want to falter under pressure or give up when there's resistance -- that's something only a shadow side of myself would and should do. I want to be the one making the rules and controlling the game, the one that has the intuitive insight to go with it and make it work.. And perhaps most of all, the confidence and drive to stick with it.
Hell, I want PASSION in my life. Passion -for- my life.

Right now, I'm someone who knows what he likes and doesn't like, someone who's looking for intense experiences and stories to tell. Secretly an adrenaline junky, but yet too taken aback to really go with that. And despite knowing what I want, a lot of times I really -don't- know what I want. What I'm doing it for, what the purpose is, so at the same time I really have.. not a low sense of self-awareness, but a low sense of destination. And that brings a lot of doubts. And doubts lead to stopping. Stopping leads to degrading.

Now, all in all, I'm perfectly happy with where I am now. I accept what I have, and I will accept what is to come. I simply want more, and have control over what's to come.
Passion, confidence, sense of purpose. Love for life. Lust for life. And the courage to accept that.

Now I have a goal. I want to discover passion, rediscover my heart. That's 'Why'. So now that my journal entry is done, I can ground again, breathe, center.. smile. And hope. I can work on this.

Posted by on in Insights

Starting your day right == how to wake up

Rohaa, your fearless leader, woke up this morn, stumped downstairs, tripped over something, and collapsed on the sofa. Still messy from the dream-time, emotionally unstable, and half-awake, she grabbed a computer and started to work.

 

Surprising.

 

The way you start your day outlines the shape of all that follows. A rough start usually means a rough day. I expected something different from her. It's possible, tho, that I've never spoken to you folks about how to wake up, about how simple it is, and how intensely important. If that's so, then that's an error on my part, one i'll attempt to rectify now.

 

So with that intro, I'll write up a quick overview on how to start your day off right. Then one of you folks can clean it up, fix any spelling errors, make it simple enough for white belts, and so on.

 

=============================

 

DON'T
Don't start your day by diving into your computer or checking messages on your phone. That stuff has waited all nite. A half-hour more won't matter. If it's that important to connect at say, 8am, get up 7:30. If you start your day this way, it'll make the whole day more difficult
Don't, really, really, really don't turn on the television. It'll put your mind back into a dream state and you'll spend all day half-awake.

DO

A few simple steps... half an hour including a shower if you don't take a really long shower... will make your whole day easier, lighter, more fun, less stressful. You'll get more done, feel better about yourself, and enjoy it much more.


** Dreams
Dreams can teach you much. Sit up so you don't fall back to sleep, but don't get up immediately. Relax, stay half-asleep in bed, and make notes on any dreams you remember. It should only take you 3-5 minutes.

** GCB & SWEET
Get your energy moving and clear out the mess from the nite. When you are asleep your guts (your unconscious) run things. And they don't always make the best decisions. Take ten minutes, stand (in front of an open window if you can), and just ground, center, breathe, and SWEET. Relax, feel your body waking up. Notice your mind getting a bit sharper as you move out of the alpha mind state. And gently continue until you feel awake and stable.

** Food

The meta-body needs to eat a little every 2 to 3 hours to keep your sugar's balanced. Most of you sleep for more than 8 hours. So when you wake up, your body's hurting. It needs sugar, ideally something light and healthy like a piece of fruit.

    Avoid fruit juice first thing as your sugars will crash 20 minutes or so later. Avoid heavy things like bacon and eggs or whole grain cereal. Your digestive system has been resting. Wake it gently Eat a little and then 20m or so, eat whatever you want. Avoid coffee, nicotine, drugs, and such at first for the same reason



** Air

When you sleep you don't breathe deeply. Doing so would wake you. If you are someplace cold enough that your windows were shut all nite, you were breathing recycled air for hours. So, hours of shallow breathing with unhealthy air. One of the first things you can do is to get some air moving. You started that with GCB. Continue by going outside and taking a 10-15 minute walk. Let your body remember how to move after a long nite being frozen in place. And breathe deeper than you are used to. It'll get your mind and body moving and start your energy moving right. Once you've shown your system how good it feels, it'll continue in that vein all day.

** The regular stuff
Then eat your breakfast, drink your coffee, and so on. Shower. Check your email. Now's the time to do all the stuff you normally do in the am.

++ A