by Angel, Jan 17, 2011
Reaction is (at least) a four step process.
Most go thru all four steps from noticing something to acting upon it almost instantly.
It's possible to realize these four steps as separate. Having done so, you can work your way back. The steps go like this:
Again, most people move from step 1 to step 4 so fast they don't think about it. They don't even realize it. They are slaves to their experience. Having realized that there are steps, you don't have to be a slave. You can begin to work backwards thru the steps.
4=>3 You are angry! But you can bite your tongue and not say anything. Close the door gently. Don't insult your spouse, lover, or a stranger. Don't kick your pet. Realize that your a slave of this thing, and refuse to do what it tells you.
3=>2 Use the tools you have to reassert control. Make a decision to power, ground-center-breathe, and so on. Soon enough, you'll begin to notice you are in control again. You are still just as angry, but it's more as if you are watching/feeling the anger race thru you rather than being tossed head-over-heels in its current.
2=>1 Begin to notice that the anger is there, and realize that you don't HAVE TO keep it. You notice it, you feel it, you ground it. With practice you can move back to simply percieving without internalizing. If this idea seems complicated it's not. It's the difference between smelling sour milk and drinking a big glass of it.
Next time you find yourself about to yell at someone, to cry, to whine, ... anything, stop. Ask yourself if it really SCANs to do so. If not, then you are probably re-acting rather than acting in power. You are something's slave. Remember these four steps and begin to work backward.
Be owned without acting
Experience without being owned
Perceive without experiencing